Hi There! How are you doing?
So far I feel that Valentines has been good to me on this particular year.
Who am I kidding? I am a total mess or am I. Do I have a boyfriend or not? That is the question. Well he hasn’t asked the question, but he acts like he is, but (how I hate those buts) if we do have a relationship, it is a long distance and we only know each other by mail and picture, so you tell me. I say yes, that we are, but I am in fact waiting to meet him to scream it to the world. Because that’s what love is, right? You never keep love in secret and why would you want that? I remember one time when I knew for sure that love was lost and I thought it would never be found. I was with a group of friends, they all had boyfriends and prospects and I as you can see I had less than zero and I don’t know why I felt that was so wrong, like you are nothing if you don’t have someone, so I invented one. It was not hard, after all I was a writer. At that moment I remembered that a good lie starts with the truth. Long story short I told them about my own Christian Grey. Okay, okay, I am kidding I told them about someone I had a crush on, so the only lie was that he was my boyfriend. Truth be told it was good that I felt like that and that I lied because one hour later when my friends and I said goodbye to each other I felt terrible. I was feeling awful and I don’t think it was the food. Suddenly I didn’t know how I was a street away from Michael’s work, the guy in question. He used to work in a coffee place and there he was, so handsome and he said, “Hi there! your usual?” At that moment the world stopped, my heart was beating so fast and my inner voice was saying, “you can do it girl,” “I can do what?” my head asked and then the world moved on again and Michael was still asking me “Your usual?” and then I replied “yes and would you like to go out with me?” but Michael only heard the yes and I was so nervous to asked again so I lost my chance. I was still feeling terrible about it and at that moment is when I learned what the following sentence meant: “The truth will set you free” and when I did, I found out that everybody in that group lied. They had boyfriends but not all of them had good relationships and not all the prospects were that hot. I learned that it was better to be alone than living in a lie. After that I spoke the truth as much as possible and I learned to love myself. Suddenly I knew it, LOVE was not lost. LOVE at that moment had already been found in the relationship with my friends, my family, my writing. LOVE was inside me. Having a partner is in fact just a plus, someone that likes to be part of your journey and I guess Carl, the one I told you about at the beginning of this post could be that, a big fat adorable plus, but for now he is a cute character that walks in the pages of my journey.